There is an entire population of people who congregate, and celebrate, when my life gets difficult, or falls apart. They claim it's evidence that I'm a failure, or a liar, or a punk. I agree that I am, or have parts of, all of those things. I can tell you , however, that none were ever dependent upon whether I was floating, or submerged.
I wasn't fired. And I wasn't asked to leave. The district I was working for was supportive, and encouraging until my final hour. They assured me their door would remain open, if I should want to return. The Bad Witch in this story is the University that owes me a credential.
This is her cosmic faux pau, in a nutshell:I've been operating under the belief that my credential requirements had been successfully
fulfilled since August, 2013 because that’s what I'd been told by the adviser who worked with me throughout my intern year. I was in her office when she signed the document verifying I'd completed my program. She then retired, and moved away.
A new credential analyst was hired by the university, and things went on seamlessly. When I was hired, I was certain all that remained was stuffing an envelope, and sending it to Sacramento for my preliminary credential. After all, I'd seen my adviser sign the final document.
NOT.
SO.
FAST.
BIG GUY.
When I went to meet the new analyst in September, I was told my intern credential should not have been granted. Evidently, my CSET (subject matter scores, 2007) had expired, and were no longer valid. The same copy with the date, and scores, had been in that file since my admission to the program, and no one, including my mentor, ever mentioned an expiration date. I was also informed that my SFSU transcripts were missing. The same transcripts that were evaluated to admit me to the program, and the same transcripts used a year prior for my intern credential.
Gone. Vanished. Bye-Bye.
As I was scrambling around during the last weeks trying to repair things I received a call from the University. They had made an internal arrangement that fixed both issues, and I was told not to worry. I called a short time after for the document that was being prepared as proof to my district that I was legally a teacher, and learned that I wasn't. This time, I was told that 2 required courses were missing: Mainstreaming/Inclusion & Adolescent Development. Again, no one who'd been working with me in compiling the file back in 2007, and again when it was reopened in 2012 identified the courses as "missing".
I knew I had taken both classes, and that my previous adviser had approved them. I located the transcript for the class I took in 2005, but it was dismissed because of where I'd taken it. I could not locate the other transcript, the one for 'Mainstreaming'. That one was 12 years old. I asked if the 3 years I worked as a specialist who wrote inclusion plans could be used instead, and was told 'no'. A few days later my intern credential expired, and I was dismissed.
I apologize that the truth isn't as sinister as the stories that could be made up, but there it is. I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm not sure I have a place. No one can be wrong this often.
I'll let the poet David Whyte take us out....
"When you are alone
you must do anything
to believe
and when you are
abandoned
you must speak
with everything
you know
and everything you are
in order
to belong.
If I have no one to turn to
I must claim my aloneness...
And finally..
You must learn one thing,
The world was made to be free in.
Give up all other worlds
except the one to which you belong.
Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn
anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you.
