Pssst.... based on a lot of cliches, I don't think I'm alone.
You know what I mean? Well?
Do ya?
Let's look at a few.
- "Love and hate are two horns on the same goat". First of all, why are we always picking on goats? And second, if the two horns are really the same thing then there's only one horn and that, my friends, is a Unicorn.
- "Love conquers all". Really? Next time you're face to face with an angry Ninja see how a sonnet holds up against nunchuks. Or skip the Kevlar vest on the front lines today, and just wrap yourself in that warm, fuzzy feeling you get when you think of me.
- "All's fair in Love and War". Um, you can get a death sentence for a 'war crime' committed where the objective is to melt your opponent with napalm, and get by with a slap on the wrist for cutting off your husband's penis while he's asleep, and tossing it in an empty lot on your way to 7-11, if you justify it by telling the judge he stuck that thing in the office floozy. Divorce court rules!
- "For the love of GOD!" Hmmm. Can anyone explain to me why even the most religious among us say the almighty's name more during sex than they do at church? Oh god. Ohhh god. Oh god. Oh god Oh god Oh god!
- "Love is war." Super. Hey, here's an idea. The next time our country decides to have a war with another one, let's make those two countries get married. In five years they won't even be speaking to each other, and the idea of getting in bed together well, forget it. And our soldiers won't die.
- "If you love something set it free." Brilliant. No one does that. Frickin moron.
- Even Facebook knows better. You don't have the option to "Love" something. But you can "Like" as much as you want.
Moving on.....
Lovezophrenia
Here's why I'm confused.
The ability to love isn't dependent upon what we love, it's up to us to make the choice, which makes it more of a willingness, than an ability. We all have Love in surplus, and if you doubt that, look at what we adore. Some people pour their love into pets, and dress them in sweaters, and leave an inheritance. Some pour it into a hobby, or a skill because they "totally LOVE doing it, man". Some go groupie on rock bands, and cry when they play their favorite song. And some marry inmates on death row. We love what we love so much, except each other. That smells fishy to me.
The ability to love isn't dependent upon what we love, it's up to us to make the choice, which makes it more of a willingness, than an ability. We all have Love in surplus, and if you doubt that, look at what we adore. Some people pour their love into pets, and dress them in sweaters, and leave an inheritance. Some pour it into a hobby, or a skill because they "totally LOVE doing it, man". Some go groupie on rock bands, and cry when they play their favorite song. And some marry inmates on death row. We love what we love so much, except each other. That smells fishy to me.
I gotta be honest. There are days I want to hug everyone just cuz they're there. But I can't if I want to avoid wearing stripes. There's protocol for hugging. You need to spend some time talking to find out if you 'like' each other. And be sure, if you don't like the stuff I like, or come to the obvious conclusion that I'm totally awesome, no hugs for you.
Dick.
Dick.
Hug lost because we had to open our mouths, and set barriers. Sometimes our demand to communicate destroys the possibility of it occurring.
And as odd as this may sound,
I believe that's the intent.
Based on the examples above, the issue isn't finding something to give our love to, it's getting it. That's where things get complicated. The reluctance to get hurt, to have our hearts pureed, has evolved into an elaborate series of tests we administer, and agree to, even though we know the outcome is false. There is no set amount of weeks devoted to "getting to know each other" that guarantees happily ever after. Just as there is no "magic number date" to get naked the first time. A marriage doesn't succeed because you waited for a ring before trying on each others birthday suits. Nor does it fail because you did the skinny-dip merge before you knew each others names. I think it has more to do with a an acceptance of risk, and the willingness to love yourself so much that love from others is just frosting.
If you can learn how to have a passionate affair with yourself that solidifies the belief that you're lovable, you can focus on giving love away. If you're loved by yourself plenty, when what you love walks away, you can let it. We must learn to agree to the pain that comes with loss, and admit that loss is inevitable. That's when love comes out of hiding. When it's enough to be your own company the love you choose to accept is more pure. If you understand love is nice, but not owed, you'll stop performing for tidbits. You'll aim yours where it's needed. Where it's needed most of all is wherever you are.
The greater truth is people rarely leave you, because of you, even if that's their claim. More often, they leave because the agreement you're attempting to make with the world about how you will occupy it, rattles a place of discomfort in them. You owe it to each other to talk about it truthfully, and with empathy. You don't owe anyone a concession to make a change that changes you. Perhaps more importantly, you don't owe a display of shame for who you are. If someone asks
for one, bolt.
If who you are isn't being imposed on anyone else you're entitled to use the space you occupy to celebrate yourself. Even if it's right next to them. If they leave, and your inventory discovers you, and the space your in, reflect who you are when you're happy, you're not to blame for the migration. Wish them the best, and tell them you're grateful for your moment, and smile at yourself in the mirror. Love will find you again. In any case, no one can stop you from giving yours away. Whether you have a single adult relationship in your lifetime, or more than Larry King, if you elevate each other, and grow because of it, you win.
It doesn't matter if it takes you a year to get close to someone, or the length of a commercial. Both are decisions. Some people leave out one small piece at a time to see what you will do with it. Others simply unzip, and spill out in a pile, because they know there's nothing you can do to diminish it. Two people can make the agreement to roll themselves out slow, or go all in from the get go. Self-expression is just that.
Neither is a quick ticket to Hell, or an embarrassment.
Putting love into the world one drop at a time, or with a single, draining flush is no different than six is from half dozen.
Love is immune to judgment, and being measured.
All it wants is to be released into the world that made it.
Hands in.
"Love a stranger", or "Till death do we part" on 3.
Your choice
1....2.....
Merge When Ready
Despite what we are taught, it's not just patience, and caution, that give good odds on Cupid. There's another belief that has more to do with a blindfold, and a cliff, that likes him too. Intimacy is possible through each. I think most of us would admit, if forced to, that the deepest love we've ever felt wasn't offered to us, it was what we offered away. If my life has glimpsed at anything, its glimpsed at that.The greater truth is people rarely leave you, because of you, even if that's their claim. More often, they leave because the agreement you're attempting to make with the world about how you will occupy it, rattles a place of discomfort in them. You owe it to each other to talk about it truthfully, and with empathy. You don't owe anyone a concession to make a change that changes you. Perhaps more importantly, you don't owe a display of shame for who you are. If someone asks
for one, bolt.
If who you are isn't being imposed on anyone else you're entitled to use the space you occupy to celebrate yourself. Even if it's right next to them. If they leave, and your inventory discovers you, and the space your in, reflect who you are when you're happy, you're not to blame for the migration. Wish them the best, and tell them you're grateful for your moment, and smile at yourself in the mirror. Love will find you again. In any case, no one can stop you from giving yours away. Whether you have a single adult relationship in your lifetime, or more than Larry King, if you elevate each other, and grow because of it, you win.
It doesn't matter if it takes you a year to get close to someone, or the length of a commercial. Both are decisions. Some people leave out one small piece at a time to see what you will do with it. Others simply unzip, and spill out in a pile, because they know there's nothing you can do to diminish it. Two people can make the agreement to roll themselves out slow, or go all in from the get go. Self-expression is just that.
Neither is a quick ticket to Hell, or an embarrassment.
Putting love into the world one drop at a time, or with a single, draining flush is no different than six is from half dozen.
Love is immune to judgment, and being measured.
All it wants is to be released into the world that made it.
Hands in.
"Love a stranger", or "Till death do we part" on 3.
Your choice
1....2.....
"First Kiss"- 20 strangers share a first kiss.
"Free Hugs Campaign"
